I need help removing her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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