Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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