I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
