the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I need help removing her.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
