Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she pinky promised me she was 18
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
