why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
