ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
