3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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