you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
