You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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