it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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