shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
