You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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