U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
