Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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