Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
