How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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