My first STD was from a foam party
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize