I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
