it wasn't lemon gatorade
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
