ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize