I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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