the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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