i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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