I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
