Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
