did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
