please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.