Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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