Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
