Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
