is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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