just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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