He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
