Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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