I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
