I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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