he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
