the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
