Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
