why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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