I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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