You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
