so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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