No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
