I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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