New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize