You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
