so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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