Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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