Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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