i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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