i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
