one might say we're banned from that church
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize