A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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