My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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