toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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