What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he shaved USA in his pubs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
