at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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