these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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