Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
