:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
