Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A+ Viking dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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