you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
