she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
