Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
