Define "chronic" masturbator.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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