glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
