she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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